In the beginning, we'd never have sex on top of the same thing twice, remember?
Her breath would be shallow and pleading.
That was the only time you really needed me, remember?
Right before your body reshuffled itself,
Like a deck of cards.
Several nights ago you told me you needed me forever.
But hey, the beginning still matters, because
If someone handed me a transcript of the last 8 months,
I'd still highlight every word on that page.
She still does that a lot. Reshuffles. I can see it;
She says words that I've heard before
But never in that order or at just that time.
She keeps reminding me about feelings that I'm still only just finding out about.
And hey, there's still space between us.
Instead of watching movies we
Make lists of movies to watch and
Instead of going on trips we
Make lists of cabins to carry each other over the thresholds of and
Instead of sliding fingers into and over and around each other we
Clutch phones to our still heads and slide words into each other's ears
Which miraculously feel similar enough sometimes.
The only time I've felt like the second thing on her mind is
When there was a horse in front of us.
He liked her better than me too,
But I still got to watch,
Which miraculously was enough that time.
