White Noise

We've all been spending too much time thinking about other people. Thank you, I know I sound like an 80 year old psychiatrist, I do not give a crappola. It pisses me off, that the definition of ourselves derives from the root words of the demeaning thoughts and words of the people around us. Don't get me wrong, I think it's so important to be social, communicative, involved citizens in society. But at what point does it become moot.

At what point is it just white noise?

I've been trying to surround myself with the kind of kids (and I use that word very loosely) who are independent, with their own music, clothes, ideas about how the world should work, how they themselves should work.

I realized, that's completely counterproductive. That won't help at all. That just makes me show myself as trying to be one of them. Goddammit, there's no way to get around it. Nothing we do or are trying to do is new. It's all been done before. I'm doing it right now, as I type. I know I sound whiny, but I keep trying to think of what difference it makes, I can't come up with anything. What difference does it make.

This world has been around way too long. No, I take it back. The people who inhabit this world, who USE this world, have been around way too long. And what's worse, we keep making the same stupid errors. The same mistakes.

Domestic abuse, pollution, corrupt government, war, FRIGGEN TOO MUCH HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP. I split my brain trying to think of a way to beat it, to be different, it's impossible. I am nothing, I will be forgotten as soon as the people who knew me are.

Hell, I don't even know why I capitalize my I's. Sorry for the obvious depression, I needed a venting session.